Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize