In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
