two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
