I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
