Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Your dad touched me again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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