so explain again why im purple
no
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Less talking, more tequila
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
