Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
