He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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