That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
