no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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