I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
