I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
