I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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