I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Can I color on your dick again?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
