She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize