i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize