He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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