haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
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He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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