I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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