it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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