i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
