Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
