Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize