In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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