You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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