Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
