this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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