worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
