Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
