I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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