Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
