Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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