I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
