physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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