Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You smell like stripper and shame
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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