How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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