Fuck appropriateness.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
