After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
