woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
