East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize