peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
