guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
