I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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