What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
