i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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