Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize