My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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