The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
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So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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