ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
