ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
