dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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