why didn't you poke me back
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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