You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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