I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize