yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize