Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
