you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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