she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bring me that man meat
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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