I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
