I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
