"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my being single is dangerous.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
