I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
