We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
