Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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