i was rollin on her like bob the builder
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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