these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
