are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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