Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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