If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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