My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
