porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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